Through the Mask: A Journey Back to Yourself

Discover the hidden costs of living behind societal expectations, explore the journey to reclaim your authentic self, and unlock the freedom that comes with letting go of the masks we wear every day.

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Photograph by the author.

The Masks We Wear

Being accepted is one of the most fundamental human needs — so powerful that it often becomes the driving force behind our behavior. However, many of us believe that being who we are is simply not enough to be accepted because we might feel that we are somehow fundamentally flawed.

This creates a conflict: the desire for acceptance clashes with the fear of rejection.

To bridge the gap between our ‘imperfect, perhaps even shameful’ authentic self and the need for acceptance, we wear masks. Carl Jung has coined a term for such masks as — persona, that is personality that an individual projects to others, as differentiated from the authentic self.

Photograph by the author.

“The persona is a complicated system of relations between individual consciousness and society, fittingly enough a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and, on the other, to conceal the true nature of the individual.” — Carl Jung

Wearing masks has become a widespread habit, and I am no exception. I remember job interviews where I had to “fake it” because I thought my authenticity wouldn’t secure the position. Or the times I smiled at someone and pretended to be interested in a conversation, while in reality, I just wanted to walk away.

Furthermore, many times, my behavior and the way I presented myself were completely different when someone was watching compared to when no one was paying attention. I always wanted to show myself in the best light — and that’s why I wore masks.

A saying that wonderfully captures the motive behind such behavior is:

Fake it till you make it.

The Cost of Pretending

Although faking might help us achieve what we strive for — and it has helped me as well — I realized that such an approach carries significant consequences that we might overlook due to the allure of a highly desired prize.

Loss of Authenticity:
The first downside is losing our authenticity and sense of who we truly are. For instance, someone who chases false goals and constantly tries to impress others might gradually lose sight of what they genuinely love, want, or believe in.

I’ve experienced that firsthand. I tried to convince both myself and others that I wanted an uninspiring 9-to-5 cubicle job. In doing so, I disconnected from my creative and artistic nature — qualities that only recently started to resurface. Looking back, I realize I may have lost more than a decade pursuing a path that didn’t resonate with me.

Loss of Genuine Connections:
Another drawback of pretending is the loss of genuine connections and trust between people. This happens because interactions occur between masks rather than real individuals, creating a barrier that prevents true understanding and emotional closeness.

As a result, we may be left with a lingering sense that something simply isn’t right, making it difficult to fully trust the other person — just as they likely struggle to trust us in return. Without authenticity, these relationships often remain superficial, leaving both parties feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.

Stress and Loss of Energy:
The next downside of faking it is the stress and energy it drains. Pretending forces us to constantly take on the roles of director, screenwriter, and actor in our own lives, frequently switching between them to suit each situation. This relentless performance takes a toll. I know this firsthand. I’ve been in those situations countless times, and it left me feeling utterly exhausted. That’s why I’ve promised myself never to let it happen again — because living like this isn’t sustainable.

Life in a Prison:
Another disadvantage of faking is the feeling of being trapped by societal norms and expectations, which can often feel like living in a prison. While this imprisonment may seem imposed by others, the truth is that we are the ultimate judges of which standards we choose to live by, because nobody else is responsible for our imprisonment but ourselves. After all, it was our choice to fake it, and now it can also be our choice to stop.

The following photo of the doll symbolizes the suppression of our authentic selves, a life constrained by false values and rules dictated by others. It serves as a stark reminder of what we risk losing when we choose pretense over authenticity.

Photograph by the author.

Hindering of Personal Growth:
Finally, wearing masks hinders personal growth. Masks act like patches — defensive mechanisms designed to hide our perceived flaws. While they may provide temporary relief, they ultimately prevent us from addressing the root causes of our insecurities.

Instead of confronting our inner demons — which is a necessary step for personal development — we turn away and seek quick fixes. This avoidance may feel easier in the moment, but it stalls the deep and meaningful growth that comes from facing our true selves.

Breaking Through to Growth

However, as we grow older and gain more experience and wisdom, we might start recognizing the emptiness of a life full of pretense. This awakening, the peeling away of false layers to reveal our true selves, is represented by the photo of the torn poster, where the authentic face starts to emerge from beneath the ripped layers of “masks and false identity.”

Photograph by the author.

Once this awakening begins, the question is:

Will we have the strength to show what’s underneath? Or will we cling to the mask, patching it up and continuing to live a false life because we believe our authenticity won’t save us?

If authenticity were easy, everyone would embody it. But it’s not. The price of being our true selves includes psychological discomfort, which may arise from disapproval, gossip, or even rejection by some people. There’s also the uncertainty of walking our unique path, not the one laid out for someone else. It requires courage.

But the price of living a fake life may be even steeper. In the wonderful book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the author highlights that the greatest regret is not having the courage to live authentically. Many people don’t dare to remove their masks and reveal their true selves. By the time they grow old, their chance has passed, leaving them with despair and regret.

The Courage to Be Authentic

The right time to awaken and break free is now, if we have the courage to seize it. So, will we dare to live fully, truly embracing the one life we’ve been given? Or will we end up like the doll in the junkyard — discarded, out of place, and far from our true selves?

“In a wasteland, the surface does not represent the actuality of what it is supposed to be representing, and people are living inauthentic lives. ‘I’ve never done a thing I wanted to in all my life. I’ve done as I was told.’ “— Joseph Campbell

This photo symbolizes that cost — a discarded self, lost in the wasteland of expectations and false appearances.

Photograph by the author.

But this doesn’t have to be our story. The choice is, and always will be, ours. Authenticity may come with challenges, discomfort, and even rejection, but it also comes with the unmatched reward of living a life true to ourselves.

The world may not always accept what lies beneath the mask, but the real question is: Will you?

As Sri Ramana Maharshi wisely said:

“Be as you are.”

All photos were taken by the author using a Fujifilm XE-4 with a 27mm f/2.8 lens.

Thank you for reading my story.

About the Author: I am a passionate photographer and a philosopher of both photography and life, a TEDx speaker, a Master of Molecular Biology, and a product manager. I curate two newsletters: Lens Chronicles, where I explore the intersections of photography, travel, and philosophy, and Thoughtful Corner, where I share ideas, reflections, and insights for curious minds. Thank you for taking the time to enjoy my work.